英语搞笑小故事带翻译

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　　故事一
　　Two Soldiers
　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, ＂have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?＂
　　Bill said, ＂Yes, I have,＂ and he gave them to him.
　　Then George said, ＂Now I haven‘t got a pen.＂ Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, ＂have you got a stamp, Bill?＂ Bill gave him one.
　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, ＂Are you going out?＂
　　Bill Said, ＂Yes, I am,＂ and he opened the door.
　　George said, ＂Please put my letter in the box in the office, and...＂ He stopped.
　　＂What do you want now?＂ Bill said to him.
　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, ＂What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?＂
　　军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：＂比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?＂
　　比尔说：＂有。＂然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
　　乔治又说：＂我还没有笔呢。＂比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：＂比尔，你有邮票吗?＂比尔给了他一张。
　　这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：＂你要出去吗?＂
　　比尔说：＂是的。＂随即打开了门。
　　乔治说：＂请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...＂他停住了。
　　＂你还要什么?＂比尔问。
　　乔治看着信封说：＂你女朋友的地址是-?＂
　　故事二
　　Warning
　　Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to ＂warn＂ him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. ＂Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?＂ I teased.
　　＂Are you kidding?＂ he replied, ＂Why else would I have bothered to clean?＂
　　我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，＂提醒＂他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。＂忘了我们要来，是吧?＂我取笑他。
　　＂开什么玩笑?＂，他回答说，＂要不我凭什么费神打扫?＂
　　故事三
　　A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, ＂I do not want to eat those apple for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat.＂ Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
　　He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, ＂I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river.＂
　　He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
　　Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
　　一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：＂我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。＂然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。
　　他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：＂今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。＂
　　他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。
　　不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。