标题:Still Thinking About Your Ex? Why It’s Bad News for Your Current Partner 作者:Dr Jeremy Dean 原文链接:http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/06/still-thinking-about-your-ex-why-its-bad-news-for-your-current-partner.php 翻译请保留原文链接哦↑ 欲翻译的小伙伴,可评论『领稿』,并把已完成的译文『发在自己的心理圈』or『个人主页』的日志内。请领稿的小伙伴,尽量在一个星期内完成翻译,谢谢!! When a relationship is going wrong, it is comforting to dwell on positive memories of an ex. It’s often said that if you find yourself thinking about your ex-partner, it’s probably a sign of a problem in your current relationship. Psychological research has now backed this up: "A longitudinal study followed individuals in relationships at three points over the course of 6 months. Participants reported their current relationship quality, emotional attachment to ex-partners, and perceived quality of relationship alternatives." What they found was that… "…increased longing for ex-partners predicted declines in relationship quality, but only when focused on one’s most recent ex-partner. This is because longing for more recent ex-partners is associated with perceptions of relationship alternatives, while longing for more distant ex-partners is not." So the more dissatisfied you are with your current partner, the more likely you are to think about your most recent ex-partner. Not only that but… "…ex-partners may serve as desirable relationship alternatives, with romantic feelings for recent exes interfering with current relationship quality." Recent exes are seen as particularly attractive alternatives to current relationships because they are assumed to be more accessible and available. And contrary to the romantic view of love, partners are relatively interchangeable: "The belonging substitution hypothesis suggests that close connections with others are relatively substitu for one another, such that the loss of one connection can be tempered with another." This is why many people go back to their most recent ex-partner when they get fed up with their current partner. It’s often the quickest and easiest way of fulfilling the strong need to belong.